“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.”  Psalm 139: 1-4

Do you matter?  Do I?  Do our lives truly have any meaning?  These questions seem to drive all of us at a very basic level.  It is very hard to live alone.  Even in the darkest days of my previous uncaring, unloving past I still felt a need to connect with someone, sometimes.  Now that I have been changed by the knowledge of what God has done for me, I need it even more.  We all need a witness.

We need a witness because we want our lives to matter and we can only believe they do if someone notices.  This is probably why I want to write these thoughts and post them on a blog for others to see.  This is a spiritual desire, or hunger.  And most people have it.  The proof is right here on the internet.  When the internet was just beginning to take shape one of the first things that connected people globally was known as bulletin boards.  Places where like-minded souls, mostly geeks, gathered in virtual town squares to share and discuss the important things in their lives.  And these things were not important to most people but there is always someone that values what we see as worthwhile.  These bulletin board subscribers did not see each other or really know each other but the desire for a connection, a witness to a small part of their lives was great and no one could have predicted where it would eventually go.

Today we have blogs, forums, Facebook, Twitter and many more.  These types of sites have allowed all of us to let every one of our “friends” know exactly what we are doing at any given time.  And we really think that they all care what time we got up and what we had for breakfast or the even more mundane daily tasks associated with living.  I won’t even go into the distorted theme of friendship.  What spurs all of this if it isn’t a spiritual hunger?  A ravenous need for a witness?  We want someone, maybe everyone, to notice us.  We want validation through their observation of our lives that we do matter.  Their attention tells us that our lives count.

I want someone to read this and to comment.  This makes this whole point I am trying to make, true in my own life.  But there is also a truth that surpasses this need.  I already have a witness.  In fact, I have a couple of them.  As the first few verses of Psalm 139 show, God is watching everything I do.  He reads my mind and knows my motivations.  He knows all of those intimate little moments in my life and there is no way I can hide them from him even if I wanted to.  Which occasionally I do, I am embarrassed to say.  Jesus and the sacrifice he made prove that I truly do matter.

The second witness is my wife.  She is the one, the only one, who voluntarily agreed to witness my life.  She agreed to care about what I care about, to share life with me and all the ups and downs that it brings.  She knows things about me that no one else but God knows and she can be trusted to keep what needs to be secret just that.  She knows the good, the bad and the ugly things about me.  She shares in the exciting and the mundane.  She let me know on the day she said “I do” that my life would not go unnoticed and that I matter.  And I will do and be the same for her.

I want friends.  I want to be noticed and recognized as someone of worth.  I am sure you do also.  But ultimately, in those times that everyone else seems to be missing in my life, I can count on this-my wife and my God are my witness.

Love you all

Tags: Believe, Blogs, God, Love, spiritual hunger, Trust, Value, witness

Just wanted to say hi and see if anyone was still out there that might read this.  I started this blog because a friend talked me into it and actually enjoyed the writing and the discussions that it prompted for about a year.  During that year I was sitting at home, doing nothing but getting fat, old and weak due to a lack of work.  Cabinets are hard to sell during this current economic situation.  This is what actually led to a major decision I made, also prompted by friends and my wife.  I enrolled in the University of Alabama at Birmingham as a pre-nursing major at the age of forty-nine.  Then my life changed drastically.

I had to quit teaching Sunday school and a Wednesday night adult class at my church.  I ultimately did not even have much time to attend church.  I also decided to check out some other denominations when I could, not looking for anything in particular, just wanting to see if any of the things I had read about in my studies for classes were true or false.  I also attempted to get as far as possible in my freshman year of college to free up my summer to try to find some work, completing 37 credit hours in these two semesters.  My wife and I have to rely on God more and more as the financial resources are finally gone.  We have seen some awesome signs of Christ in some of those we know and love during the past few months.  Thank God for his people.

We have had some personal tragedies during the past few months that have also affected our lives in ways that we could have never foreseen.  One occurrence in particular is life-changing and will never be over until we enter eternity.  Again, some of Gods children have been there for us and I believe they always will be.  I am thankful for the concern, the support and the prayers of these saints every day.

I want to write some more this summer if I have some time.  I need work though, so that will be my priority.  I start my second year of college in August if the money to pay our bills is available.  This post is short and rambling and is really just an attempt to re-enter the waters.  It is also a simple thank you to all that read this and know of our plight and continue to pray for us.  We covet these prayers. We know that God is here, even if he does not seem to be at times.  We need you, we need God, and we

Love you all

Tags: blog, Christ, Discussion, Eternity, friend, God, Love, Personal, personal tragedies, Prayer, School, university of alabama at birmingham, Work, Writing

This is an awesome song written by John Mark McMillan and recorded here by the David Crowder Band.

Miss and Love you all

Tags: david crowder band, Love, mark mcmillan, song

Mat 6:14-15  For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

I attended a Baptist church this past Sunday and the sermon text was Matthew 6:14-15.  The message given by the pastor focused on Gods forgiveness of us almost entirely and very little on our need to forgive others.  In light of the scripture above I was wondering about a couple of things.

How important is our forgiveness of others?

What do you think are the consequences for us if we do not forgive others?

How does your belief effect any thought of the doctrine of eternal security?

Love you all

Tags: Belief, consequences, doctrine of eternal security, Forgiveness, God, Heaven, town hall, Tuesday