I asked a question a couple of days ago and invited all of you to participate.  The response was not overwhelming and I kind of expected that.  The question, while simple, was a decidedly hard one to answer.  Not because most of us do not know the answer but because we are not that willing to share it.  The question was, “What is wrong with you?”

The simple facts surrounding the answer to this question is that most of us are unwilling to share with others what we feel are our deficiencies, flaws or defects.  And there are some who do not even recognize that they have any.  I know that I do and I also believe when we wake up to the fact that we have these shortcomings, we can begin to deal with them.  Further, I believe when we are transparent about them, when we share them with others in our Kingdom family, we can not only find help in dealing with them but we will find out we can help someone also.  A lot of us might think we are the only ones dealing with a certain flaw.  That is not so.  We all have them and there are a lot more of us than there are flaws.  So someone out there has the same problem that you and I have.

I am going to share one of my own here.  I am at times too confrontational.  I sometimes feel that I do not come across as the loving person that I want to become known as.  I teach a couple of classes a week at my church and I am sometimes too direct and always very plain spoken.  I might occasionally use a “big” word but it is usually because I am trying to incorporate it into my speech.  It is not to impress and definitely not to confuse.  If there is one thing I want it is that I want everyone to understand or “get” what I am saying.

I am also passionate about the things of God.  I get loud and even heated sometimes even when there is no one arguing, disagreeing, or even talking for that matter.  And I have told my class many times that I don’t care.

When I say those words, I don’t care, my wife hates it.  She is the one that cares about me the most and she does not ever want anyone to think less of me or see me in a negative light.  And I just don’t care.  She has scolded me and offered suggestions for better ways to say what I mean such as “it doesn’t matter.”  And believe me, I have tried.  But it doesn’t matter because I don’t care.

No one has to say anything to me to get me to declare this and it is not what you may think.  I blurt out those words when I think that some might have an objection to what I am saying.  I also use them when I am describing something a well known theologian or an early church father has said and I believe they are wrong.  An example would be; I don’t care what John Calvin concluded, God is not some sovereign, unloving toymaker in the sky remotely causing every act that people perpetrate on this planet.

Sure, it doesn’t matter might sound better in this instance but is there really any difference.  I don’t think so and I don’t really care if there is.  I am blunt sometimes, to the point and even a little hurtful.  I wish I wasn’t.  I have a friend, Shannon, that seems to be able to respond in a way that is not confrontational to everything and everyone.  He can comment about things that I know are directly opposite of what he believes in a way that lets you know he disagrees but you still come away with a smile.  With me it is probably a frown.

One of my flaws that I am working on is to be less confrontational and to not be quite as blunt as I am.  I am not overly concerned about this though because of one thing.  That is that my Lord and King could be blunt at times to.  I believe Jesus did not really care about Peter’s feelings when He said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” in Mark 8:33.  Or at least it didn’t matter.

Even if this is a flaw that I have, a defect in my speaking technique, it is something that I can live with while I try to change.  And as Jesus demonstrates, sometimes we just have to not care whether feelings are hurt when eternity is at stake.

When I am teaching or discussing the things that pertain to the Kingdom and I say that I don’t care it is actually because I do care.

Love you all

Tags: Calvin, deficiencies, Eternity, God, Kingdom, Love, shortcomings, Work