Mar

Wilderness Wandering

Posted by: Sonny in Body of Christ, Kingdom, Personal

0012 I have been praying and thinking a lot lately. There are a few decisions that have to be made soon concerning life in general and my placement in the ranks of the army of God. I have not written very much because I am very concerned about being a stumbling block or an instrument of offense. Some seem to think I have been the instigator of division in the Body already. So I have waited, prayed, and pondered.

I thought that I wanted to see my church grow. I was wrong. What I really want to see is transformed lives. My true desire is not just to see more people in church, not just to add more to the number of inwardly focused bodies sitting on pews, but to see instead a radical group of servant-soldiers interested in what God is interested in. And willing to fight for it.

I want to see the arms of the Body of Christ reach out to grab, hug, hold and comfort a dying world. I want to see the legs of the Body of Christ start running to get to the place where those trapped in service to our enemy are, wherever that may be. I want to see the eyes of the Body of Christ constantly gazing beyond the walls surrounding our assembly to seek those desperately in need of a new Lord. I want to see the lips of the Body of Christ speaking the words of love and acceptance that the lost and lonely want and need to hear. I want to see the heart of the Body of Christ beating passionately for the mission that is being sidetracked by selfishness. I want to see the tears of the Body of Christ that should flow from our current inability to effect change in the community around us.

I want to see the atheist become a believer, the sinner become a saint, the unchurched become attendees, and the disillusioned become enlightened. But what I want the most is to see the self-centered become sacrificially concerned with the harvest of souls all around us. We must stop being so concerned with our own comfort and desire and turn those concerns towards the ones that Jesus is concerned about.

When ‘church growth’ is mentioned anymore it is usually about figuring out how to get people to switch from church A to church B or how to get more people like ourselves in the pews. We have become a double minded and apathetic church. Double minded in our wonderful but empty words about growth and apathetic in our solicitude towards the lost.

I feel that I have not been effective in my service to the Kingdom. As a teacher I believe that there should be a lot more evidence of transformation in the lives of those that have been entrusted to me than I have seen. I believe it is time for me to re-evaluate my position in the Body to make sure I have not failed too badly and am in the right place. I hope and pray that I have not caused irreparable damage. I have no one to blame and am not looking for consoling words. This is a struggle in me to determine what steps I may need to take next.

I am writing this to let all of you who do care know some of what is going on. I am saddened but still at peace. I struggle for answers but I rejoice in God’s grace. Serving Christ is always sweet but I have to say, it is also sometimes bittersweet.

Pray with me.

Love you all

Tags: army of god, atheist, Body of Christ, Church, Grace, Hope, jesus, Kingdom, mission, Self, Selfishness, Servant, Service, Sinner, Trust, War

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 28th, 2009 at 2:10 am and is filed under Body of Christ, Kingdom, Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 comments so far

Shannon Mimbs

Praying with you… and hoping that we all are asking similar questions.

March 28th, 2009 at 6:40 am

Dave Jackson

I’m with you. It’s not our church. It’s HIS church, and there are soooo many lost souls. I just started a website for Christians to share their insights into what is and isn’t working to get HIS church to grow in their area.

Dave

March 28th, 2009 at 9:49 pm

John

I’m sorry your going through tough times. I’d offer advise but this really is a decision that only you can make. I’ll keep on praying for you and knowing that any decision that you come to will be arrived at through lots of prayed and thought. Your friends will continue to love you no matter where you are.

March 29th, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Sonny

Thanks to all of you.

Welcome back John

March 29th, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Anthony

I have heard some things from “Christian” people about a lot of people here lately. You have been one of many topics among many skeptics. I can completely understand where you are coming from and I will hold you up in my prayers.

I pray for God’s people to be overflowed with his wisdom of brotherly love and with his unconditional love for those that do not love him in return. I pray for the skeptics that always look at the bad and never at the good, even if they have to make up the bad. I pray that their eyes, heart, mind, and tongues would be silenced by the sword of truth.

I’ve talked with many people that are going through the same transition in our church and all have spoken what they feel and what they feel God is instructing them to do. God’s word, amongst all of the interpretations, is still simple. It has a way to reach everyone that chooses to be reached. I see a lot here lately that there’s not many that are wanting to be reached anymore. My biggest worry is that those that don’t hinder the growth of the church in all aspects; spiritually, mentally, and physically.

If God can shut the mouths of lions, I’m quite positive he can either change or shut up the naysayers. It is very frustrating to watch those that claim to be his to be so selfish and cold-hearted. This can sometimes be more overwhelming than many other things in life.

March 30th, 2009 at 4:34 am

Tammy

I know that God will direct you. More than that, I believe you will listen to Him.
I also feel that if you were not following God’s direction, you would not feel the way you do.
Most of us seem to have grown indifferent in these areas. If it costs us something, we are not interested. Our mouths say one thing, but our actions definitely say another!

For now, we will ask God, listen for His answer and invest in the lives of those he has put in our path. We will try to reach those close to us, our children, relatives, etc. It will not be easy, but if not us, who?

Be encouraged!
I love you

March 30th, 2009 at 10:34 am

Nancy Massey

When you look around at all that God has created you see change quite often. Winter gives way to spring, spring moves over for summer, summer surrenders to fall and yet winter returns again. In our lives we go through transitions and yet we fight it so. Moving from one level to another doesn’t always feel good, look safe or make us more compfortable however still waters when too shallow only grow stagnant while moving water is filled with life. God has come so that we might have live and have it more abundantly. Maybe God is turning the soil in you to plant a mighty seed for harvest. I hate that you feel you have done so little where you have served so fervently. You have shaken the old fruit trees and allowed for more fruit to be harvested. You have dug deep into sour soil and found fresh dirt for planting. You have also watered dry souls with challenging thoughts moving us into unfamiliar territory so that we could be a better soldier for the Kingdom. I pray that God speaks to you in a way that you can see things more plainly than you have ever seen them and I hope He compforts you in all that you do.

I haven’t been able to read the blog for a while so I am going to scroll on down to see what’s been up. I hope I haven’t spoken out of turn. I think you and Tammy know that I love you very much anything I can do to help you just let me know.

Praying for you,

Nancy

March 31st, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Heather Fisher

Hi, I would say I just stumbled upon your blog, but I know in my heart that the Lord led me here today. I have never read your blog before today, but your March 28th entry caught my eye. I attend North Highlands Baptist Church in Hueytown, AL. We are a fairly large church, for our area, although we pale in comparison to some of the Hunter Streets, Gardendale’s, etc… And no biggie! However, we are in our fourth week of what we are calling Harvest Sunday activities (if you look up Harvest Unlimited, you can read all about it). Now I don’t mean to be hocking this service, but I want to give you real statistics on the HUEYTOWN, AL area. We received a list from Equifax of 5,280 names of households in our area. After 15 days of calling we have called 1,734 households and received 991 prayer requests; 705 households of those 1,734 that were called were unchurched. Matthew 9:37 “Then he said to his disciples “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” Luke 10:2 “He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. ” NO, it is NOT solely about growing your church in numbers, it is about growing the Kingdom of Christ in numbers. Matthew 7:13-14 and Luke 13:24, the road to everlasting life is narrow and few will enter—fewer still if we do not do what the Lord has commanded us to do. Go forth, make disciples!

NO WHERE in the Bible does it say GO TO CHURCH. But there are MANY examples where the Lord tells us to GO TO THE PEOPLE.

So, our Harvest Sunday (aka Friendship Sunday) is scheduled for 4/19/2009 in which we will serve as the Lord’s hosts to 30%-70% (between 100-500) people. Even if we get ONE SHOT at sharing the Gospel–we’ve planted the seed. The Holy Spirit prepared the soil (hearts of these people) and we’ll do the labor that is required.

Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort teamed up on The Way of the Master (.com) and gave a wonderful illustration for Christians, he received it from a letter from an atheist. Let’s equate Christianity to standing on the side of a busy street. We see the traffic coming in all directions and there are people just walking out headstrong into oncoming traffic. If it is our job to save, why do we not scream out to them “WAIT, STOP, before you go, hear what I have to say…” Instead, we let them go and we wait for the light to safely tell us when to cross. We Christians (and me included, believe me, I AM NOT perfect and I miss many opportunities to share) sit idly by as millions are going to their day of judgement ill prepared. How can we consciously continue to allow people to walk in and out of our lives and not share?

It all comes back down to active Evangelism. I am sure you’re dealing with a lot of stuff, I pray that you receive guidance from our Father. I know He’s listening. Problems are the price you pay for progress, smooth seas do not create a skillful sailor, God gets you into deep water not to let you drown but to cleanse you. Be faithful to Him and His Word and you will reap the harvest!

Your Sister in Christ,
Heather

(thanks for all the little options on smilies, I like all that “motion”!!! )

April 6th, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Sonny

Heather

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and even more for the report on the Kingdom activity. I will check out the Harvest Unlimited info. I have been dealing with many issues, questions, and concerns lately and I am sure they reflect in my thoughts here but I am not giving up. There is way to much to do.

And I know the Hueytown area well. I graduated from Hueytown High way back in 1978. Good to here from someone still there. Please come back and post your thoughts and share with us more of what God is doing where you are.

Love you all

April 6th, 2009 at 4:43 pm