30
Jun

Tuesday Town Hall 38…Friendship

   Posted by: Sonny   in Friendship, Townhall Tuesday

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tues-town-ha-2lI have never had many people that I considered friends.  As a very self centered man that really did not like people I found it hard to ever grow really close to anyone.  For the last seven years, as I have grown in Christ, I have also come to realize that I very much need people in my life.  I need friends and I especially need close friends.

We all need someone that will truly love and care for us as we really are.  I am blessed to have at least one such friend in my life.  John Snyder is that friend and today is his birthday.  Happy birthday John and I hope it is a great one.  I love you.

But I want some feedback about friends and friendship today.  I hope it goes better than last week.

What qualities do you believe make a close friend?

How important is friendship in your life?

What do you expect out of a friend?

Comment in any way you like concerning friendship.  I am anxious to read your thoughts.

Love you all

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15 comments so far

Bro L
 1 

You seem to be running low on friends. Maybe you should try to be less divsive and liberal. The classes you stopped teaching are growing, by the way.

July 2nd, 2009 at 11:51 am   (Quote)
Sonny
 2 

Thanks Bro for the update and the encouraging words. You have a certain way about you.

Love you all

July 2nd, 2009 at 9:19 pm   (Quote)
Dee Mimbs
 3 

Bro L,

I am grieved that you yourself would be so divisive as to address our brother so harshly without the courage to let us know who you are. I wonder, do you think that your words to Sonny would cause us to think less of you? If so, what does that reveal about you?

If the people from the church where I attend had treated me as you are treating Sonny, I probably would not have become involved in that church.

Sonny,

Thank you and Tammy both for being such good friends to Shannon and me. You have invited us into your lives, and we are honored.

As to answer your questions, I consider someone a friend if that person and I do life together. That is, friends should share in decision making, rejoicing, mourning, etc. We should be there to help in any way possible. I expect a friend to be honest always but to temper that honesty with love. To me, friendship is vital. Only God can say “I am that I am.” I am who I am because of the relationships in my life. Remember, even Jesus had friends.

Blessings

July 3rd, 2009 at 12:14 am   (Quote)
Tammy
 4 

Thanks Dee, for your sweet words, your sweet spirit and your defense of Sonny.

I am grieved in my spirit and in my soul, I am grieved!

I honestly hope that I never hurt someone the way I am hurt at this very moment.

I believe that the qualities that make a best friend are those that make you feel special no matter the situation or circumstance you are facing. I am very blessed to have 4 closer than close “best friends”!
It is very important that I have friends. I make friends fairly easily, but I keep them as long as I possibly can. My friendships are (22 years), (19 years), (5 years) and (2 years).

My level of expectation may be considered low….but I expect honesty, even if it hurts, privacy, even to your other close friends, and the less drama the better!!! I have enough of that already.

Thank you to all of my friends who have loved me and my family in all times, difficult or joyous.

July 3rd, 2009 at 11:46 am   (Quote)
Barbara (John's wife)
 6 

I have never commented on any of the blogs in the past. However, when John told me about this blog and the comment made by Bro. L, I felt the need to respond.

First and foremost in response to the questions posed, I believe the qualities of a close friend include honesty, compassion, and the ability to show genuine unselfish love for another person. Friendship is essential in my life. Sometimes when I am struggling with issues (whether physical, emotional or spiritual), the care, concern, and love of my friends helps me recognize God’s love and mercy working in my life. I know God is always there but sometimes I appreciate the kind words of a friend(s) reminding me of His promises and offering their support through my difficult times. I expect my friends to love me and care about me and I always want to reciprocate those actions. Friendships are a work in progress and they grow and develop over time. My closest friends are those people who challenge me to be the best person and Christian that I can be and are willing to bust me (so to speak) when I am not living up to my potential in those areas of my life. They are those rare people with whom I can truly be myself anytime and all the time without fear of offense or abandonment.

Now, I did not know that a Bro. L existed until this morning when John and I were discussing Sonny’s blog about his birthday. So this response is to Bro. L.

Bro. L,
First, I am not sure who within our Alabaster Church family is feeding you information about our current class structure and the fact that some classes have had an increase in attendance lately – - mainly due to some new families moving into our area – yeah! Nevertheless, I am sure that this person does not realize that you are using and somewhat twisting that information to try to hurt Sonny. I believe with all of my heart that you must be someone outside our church family b/c I refuse to believe that I attend church with someone who would purposefully try to wound or demean another person or belittle the time and contribution that person has made through years of devoted studying and teaching of God’s word. The ACOG family that I love does not respond in this manner. My mother has always said that people who try to tear you down in life are missing something very important in their own lives. So Bro. L., I will be praying that you find what you are missing, that Sonny is not hindered by you, and that the ACOG family shows you love when responding to your wounding comments.

Second,
You obviously don’t know Sonny that well or the comments about him being divisive and liberal would not have been part of your thought process. If you had said strong willed, opinionated, and passionate about what he believes, then I would have gone right along with you. You know I guess your comment could have been meant in a complimentary way b/c Jesus could have been considered to be divisive and liberal. Mr. Webster indicates that divisive means causing division or disagreement. When Jesus was going about doing miracles and spreading the Word, I am sure the Sadducees and Pharisees thought he was being divisive b/c he was causing division for them and causing disagreement b/c he was not the King/Ruler for which they had been waiting. He was also considered to be liberal b/c the conservatives of that day would never have allowed themselves to be found in the company of the type people Jesus visited with, spoke to, and dined with. Those people were people like me so I am glad He was a liberal.

Third,
He is not running short on anything – - especially friends. Since John and I have come to know Sonny and Tammy, our lives have been greatly enriched by their friendship. We adore them and our children adore them. We have spent a great deal of time in his company and know that the Sonny you see at church is the Sonny you see at home, at dinner, on vacation, etc. Again, if you were an ACOG attender you would know that he is definitely not short on friends. There are times when it is difficult to get a moment to speak with him after church b/c so many people want to visit with him or ask his opinion about something. A crowd gathered around a person is usually not a good indication that the person is without friends. Everyone notices when he is not at church and I know our family watches for him and Tammy to come in the doors b/c we love them dearly.

With love,

Barbara

July 4th, 2009 at 12:56 pm   (Quote)
Chris
 8 

Bro L: You seem to be running low on friends.Maybe you should try to be less divsive and liberal.The classes you stopped teaching are growing, by the way.

:hh: Bro. L :burnup:

I do not attend ACOG, but let me add to the discussion – you are a sad little individual that seems to get pleasure out of hurting others. Also not using your real name, wow that is very Christian of you. You are probably sitting all alone wishing you had what Sonny has, and getting jealous. You don’t need to be, Jesus will be your friend, if you just open up.

Hey you want a beef with someone you got it. Sonny is too good a person to respond in this manner, but I am not. If I ever find out who you are you will have to answer to me. That is not a threat of physical violence, but you will be held responsible for being harsh and expressing this uneducated and hurtful statement. You will be brought out in front of everyone, and you will feel their pity and their sadness. If the guilt gets to big turn to God, he will help. Also begging for forgiveness either in public or in private would be a great first step. I am willing to forgive, but it is hard to forgive what I don’t know.

If this is too harsh, you should have seen what my first draft looked like. If it is too much though, please edit at your leisure Sonny.

I love you very much.

July 5th, 2009 at 1:55 pm   (Quote)
Connie
 10 

First of all, I love you Sonny.

Friendship is a very important part of my life. My friends lift me up and pray for me when I cannot. A friend is someone who loves you unconditionally for who and what you are. A friend is someone you love and respect without expecting anything in return. I regard my true friends as an extension of my family. My life would not be complete without them. I believe that true friendships are made in heaven, and each one has been placed in our lives for a purpose. (Just me sayin’).

As for Bro L…… I am sad for that person, but his comment does not even deserve a response.

Love and Blessings,
Connie

July 8th, 2009 at 11:30 am   (Quote)
Shannon Mimbs
 11 

For the most part, a lot of ground has been covered in just a few comments (other than Bro L). I think friendship is the glue of community, so to say. How can we foster true community and thrive as the body of Christ apart from developing strong friendships? Also, we need genuine, strong friendships with those who do not follow Christ. This is one area that I regret about my first coming to the Lord. I was told by most everyone in the local faith community of which I was part to sever all ties with my “lost” friends. I understand the wisdom in not placing oneself in situations which are too hot to handle (as a matter of speaking). But, I wish I would have invested more in the lives of the ones who did life with me for so many years yet were without a saving relationship with God. We need local church discipleship (beyond faithful attendance to church programs) which fosters such relationships that empower persons to reach into the lives of unbelievers without the likelihood of “going back to the worldly way of living.”

Just thinking…

July 8th, 2009 at 12:44 pm   (Quote)
Shannon Mimbs
 12 

By the way, Sonny, you and Tammy are examples of such good friends to Dee and myself (and many others). I was reading Justification by N.T. Wright and came across a quote by the Bishop of Durham that I think is appropriate for this thread (especially in light of Bro L’s comments)…

Starting on page 26, N.T. Wright says, “It really is high time we developed a Christian ethic of blogging. Bad temper is bad temper even in the apparent privacy of your own hard drive, and harsh and unjust words, when released into the wild, rampage around and do real damage. And as for the practice of saying mean and untrue things while hiding behind a pseudonym – well, if I get a letter like that it goes straight in the bin. But the cyberspace equivalents of road rage don’t happen by accident. People who type vicious, angry, slanderous and inaccurate accusations do so because they feel their worldview to be under attack. Yes, I have a pastoral concern for such people. (And, for that matter, a pastoral concern for anyone who spends more than a few minutes a day taking part in blogsite discussions, especially when they all use code names: was it for this that the creator God made human beings?) But sometimes worldviews have to be shaken. They may become idolatrous and self-serving. And I fear that that has happened, and continues to happen, even in well-regulated, shiny Christian contexts – including, of course, my own.”

I’m not trying to be wrongly divisive. And, Sonny, this is your blogsite and your call. But, if Bro L continues participating in these discussions with unsubstantiated, slanderous accusations, it might be best to filter (if not all out ban) such comments.

Blessings

July 8th, 2009 at 1:13 pm   (Quote)
Sonny
 13 

I really appreciate the comments and the kind words from most of you here. I missed this weeks post because the viewing and comments had gotten a little slow, hopefully due to summer busyness, and the fact that I started a temporary job that frankly, has worn me out.

I love you all and miss you also. Keep the comments coming and I will be back with something next Tuesday. After sitting around with out much work for a year and a half, this full week of work stuff is taking some time for adjustment.

The full intent of this post was to bring out some of these thoughts you have shared. Friendship is very much a part of the Kingdom plan and purpose for us all. We must realize that we need each other to make it and to stay on mission also. I am so glad to finally realize this myself.

And Shannon, I may ban some comments in the future, but I have to say that even though I was a little hurt when I first read the first comment here, I let it through to show all readers that not all of us are who we evidently pretend to be and actually Bro L has did me a service by breathing some life into the blog after a pretty dead couple of weeks.

What the enemy seeks to use against us allows God to show us His love and attention as He turns it all around and even blesses us in spite.

Love you all

July 8th, 2009 at 8:22 pm   (Quote)
CARRIE AND PATRICK SULLIVAN
 14 

I Just want to say that friendship is and important relationship to me. It is someone you can turn to, trust in and they keep you in check. I have several people that I talk to everyday but I only have a FEW select friends that keep me in check. We found several of our closest friends at ACOG. Sonny and Tammy are some of those friends (BRO L). We would not be where we are today with out the friends. I think you must have love for these friends. You must know that times will be hard but they will be there if you need them. I think a friend is someone you can laugh with, cry with and pray with. I LOVE YOU ALL and MISS YOU SONNY AND TAMMY.

July 8th, 2009 at 10:52 pm   (Quote)

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