Happy Thanksgiving.  A couple of days ago I asked you what you were thankful for.  We all have a multitude of things and people we are thankful and grateful for and depending on where we are in this life; what age, social status, employment situation, family dynamics, etc.; the things we are thankful for will change as time goes by. 

I am thankful to my God for saving me, for loving me when I was unlovable, for trusting me enough to put other souls eternity in my hands, for comforting and providing for me, for His instruction and guidance, and for the peace He has placed inside me that I truly do not understand.

I am thankful for my wife.  She probably does not know it at times but, she is the one who keeps me going.  What I do here, if not a part of my mission from God, is for her.  I want and need some things for myself but a lot of these things are for us.  I love sharing this time with her, this time in this short part of our eternal existence.  She does keep me going and she is more important to me than I could ever say. 

I am thankful that my kids are all still alive.  That’s all I will say about that right now.

I am thankful for my twelve beautiful grandkids.  They are all whole, smart, amazing and so very different from each other. They make me smile, and laugh, and want to be young.  I want to help make this world a better place for them because they have so much time ahead of them.  I miss a few of them tremendously because I do not get to see them very often.

I am thankful that I have a job and a house and food and a bed and all the necessities of life.  I am so blessed that I do not have to wonder where I will sleep or if I will eat today.  This nation may not be as great as it once was or as good, but it is still one of the greatest places to live in the world. 

I am thankful for my stuff.  My books, movies, computers, tools, furniture, and all the other little things that fill a life and a house and make it a home.  I find that even with the slow times in my work I have plenty to do and take up my time.  This blog for instance.

I, too, am thankful for chipotle.  And for barbecue and Cajun spices.  For marinara and teriyaki.  Food is wonderful and we live in a place and a time where we have an abundance of taste sensations that surpass any other time in history.  Thanks Heath for pointing this out because we really should not overlook even the seemingly mundane. 

One of the main things I am thankful for is friendship. 

Most of my life I loved myself more than anyone.  In fact I really didn’t love or like much of anybody and I never had more than one friend at a time.  Even then they were not friends as I know them now.  They were acquaintances that I kept around for those rare times when I got tired of myself.  Most of the time, I was perfectly happy with being alone.

All of that changed when I entered the Kingdom.  I started down a path of love and caring for others that has fundamentally changed me.  I crave and covet time and conversation with others.  I enjoy and learn from this conversation and all fellowship with my friends.  At one time I did not care about being a part of a group and now, it seems, I long for others to be around; to share in this wonderful testimony of God’s goodness. 

What is a friend?  The dictionary at Dictionary .com says this;

A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin am?cus “friend” and am? “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phile? “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, fr?ond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb fr?on, “to love.”

Friendship is simply love.  And God’s love for me has just had to spill over and out and has allowed me to find true value in having friends. I am thankful for all of the friends I have found through Christ. 

There was the friend that was there daily for a while, allowing me to bounce thoughts and ideas off of him as I began the journey down this new path.  He never judged, but guided me back when I was in danger of straying.  He prayed for me and helped me.  He has moved on in this life but I know he is still my friend and I love him.

There are the many, many friends that have welcomed me into their church and their lives.  They ask about my welfare, encourage and challenge me in my walk with Christ, genuinely care and love me.  We discuss the things of God and the agenda for advancing the Kingdom.  We talk to each other, pray for each other, and look out for each other.  I did not use to see casual acquaintances as friends but now I do.  We are all even more than just friends, we are family.

Then there is the one that I would say is my best friend.  We are alike and also very different.  He challenges me in my thinking and ideology as I do his.  He sees things one way and I see them the other and sometimes there is even some pain.  I have hurt him and even though he doesn’t know it, he has hurt me.  But if there was no pain then there would be no love.  The very definition of real love has to have room for some pain. 

I have and never will intentionally hurt any of my friends and I know my best friend will never do that to me.  But we can only grow when we have cause and reason to see another side to things.  Real friends are not yes men.  A real friend will challenge you, frustrate you, and still be there for you.  That is something I never really understood in the past.  I believed a true friend would have to be like me, think the way I do, and have the exact same core values.

That is just not so.  The most rewarding friendship I have ever had is actually from the one that is exactly the opposite in most of these things.  But we seem to both be working towards a center.  And if Christ was anything, I believe He was the center, of that narrow path.

I will continue to say, write and teach the things that I believe to be the Truth.  But I expect all my friends to help keep me on that narrow path that leads to an eternity with my Savior.  None of these things are to hurt or cause pain but I know that sometimes they might.  To all my friends, thank you for being my friend and not letting our differences destroy our friendship.

I thank God for friends and I

Love you all

Tags: Christ, Church, Conversation, Eternity, Fellowship, friend, Friendship, God, Kingdom, Love, relationship, Testimony, Thanks, Thanksgiving

Please click here for audio edition of running.

Running.  Not fast.  Not slow.  Just running. 

I am running, and have been, for so very long.  I can’t even remember when I started.  Why am I running?  Because I am being chased. 

I don’t know who is chasing me.   I know that I cannot let them catch me.  I can’t see them when I glance back, but I can feel them.  Somehow I know they, or he, is close.  I pick up the pace, even though the pain is becoming unbearable. 

Breathing. Just catching enough of that life sustaining substance called oxygen, has become one of the most important things, in life.  I gasp, for that sweet, invisible element of life itself, with an urgency, that displays my struggle.  The effort to catch my breath almost, overwhelms the pain.  Almost.

The pain.  I try to work through the pain. The pain is in every part of my body.  Needles piercing my shins.  Fire settling into my thighs.  Intense pressure on my lower back.  Cramps in my sides.  Acid filling my lungs. 

Running.  Endlessly.  A glance over my shoulder again.  No sign of my pursuer but, I know he is closing in on me.  I can feel it.

The pain grows. Transforms.  Metamorphoses’ into a wholly different kind of pain, that is worse than before.  The needles, fire, and pressure, are still there, but seem distant. Still excruciating and intense.  But now there are new pains. 

The sweat has drenched my clothing and causes it to rub raw any part of me that is in contact.  And that, is all of me.

Running. How long must I keep this up?  As I said, I don’t even know how long I have been running.  Maybe all my life.  How long?  Had I really been running all my life?  Impossible, but, I cannot remember a time, when I was not running.  When did I start running?  I JUST WANT TO STOP!  Just let him catch me and see what will happen.  But I can’t.  I am scared. 

The pain again.  My shoes hitting the ground with a wet sloppy sounding plop.  This is probably from the sweat and the blood.  Yes, blood.  I have been running so long, that the blisters seem to form, fill and burst every second.  Or so it seems.  And the raw places, all over my body, are starting to bleed.  Looking back, I see a trail of blood, sweat and tears that my enemy cannot help but follow easily.

Tears?  They start flowing like a steady stream as if someone, has left a faucet on.  Mixing, with the sweat and blood.  Or, am I just, crying tears of, blood?

The sweating stops.  The tears form dry crusty trails on my face.  Nasal passages are dry, and on fire.  I need hydration.  But the blood still flows freely, from various parts of my body.  Who would have thought, that you could run yourself to death.  This is what I am doing.  Maybe, I will just stop. 

I stumble, and almost fall.  Barely catching myself in time.  Another glance back gives me the impression that he is almost on me.  Still can’t see him though.  The enemy.  Why is he chasing me? 

Running.  The pain.  A wave of terror engulfs me as I realize that, I have to stop.  Can’t go on.   Every inch of my body is screaming in pain.  Even the cells.  A human being is not made to be in perpetual motion.   

A truth suddenly occurs to me.  It is okay.  I do not have to fear anymore.  It is time to die.  Nothing in life is worth keeping on this way.  And the sting of death, cannot possibly, compare, to the pain I have endured.  Running.  From my invisible enemy.  Maybe all my life. 

I stop.  Ready to die. 

Then I am hit from behind, and tackled and taken to the ground.  Bowled over by the moon.  Or so it seems.

The power that is against me is, incomprehensible.  I struggle.  I cry out with a sound that I cannot imagine a man could make.  I only thought I had felt pain.  But this, is pain.  The running had caused excruciating pain but this is torturous, unendurable.  It feels like mountains are being slammed into me.  I scream, and wrestle, and scream.

All while I marvel at the realization that my enemy is, really, invisible. He seems to be absorbing me.  Becoming one with me.  Taking over my very being.  I am no more but, I am still here.  Please, just let me die, or kill me fast. 

Suddenly, I realize the pain, is subsiding.  I realize he is not, and has not caused me any pain.  He is, actually, removing it.  But, the removal is more intense than the original occurrence.  But the pain, is decreasing.  And in its place, another sensation.  One that I don’t know.  I have never felt this.  I do not know the name for it.  But it is, good. 

Then, in an instant, all of the pain is gone.  And the enemy?  Or is he?  The presence, seems to be separating from me.  I feel like me now.  But not me.  He is gone, but not totally.  He left some of himself, with me, and in me.  And I am not me.  I am new.  Different.  Alive.  For the first time in my life. 

I know all things.  I know nothing.  I have been reborn.  Or born again.  I am a new creation.  Sensations I could not name a few moments ago.  Could this be-peace.  And joy unspeakable. 

My enemy?  Chasing me all my life.  To harm me?  No. Only trying to give me a precious gift.  He was not my enemy.  I was his.  But for some strange, and incredible reason, He loves me.  And gives me the gift– of Himself.

Why?  Why did I run? 

Now I stand.  Alive for the first time in my life. 

Amazed.

Love you all

Tags: Audio, God, Grace, Hope, Love, Personal, Rebirth, Running, Salvation, Testimony