“O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.”  Psalm 139: 1-4

Do you matter?  Do I?  Do our lives truly have any meaning?  These questions seem to drive all of us at a very basic level.  It is very hard to live alone.  Even in the darkest days of my previous uncaring, unloving past I still felt a need to connect with someone, sometimes.  Now that I have been changed by the knowledge of what God has done for me, I need it even more.  We all need a witness.

We need a witness because we want our lives to matter and we can only believe they do if someone notices.  This is probably why I want to write these thoughts and post them on a blog for others to see.  This is a spiritual desire, or hunger.  And most people have it.  The proof is right here on the internet.  When the internet was just beginning to take shape one of the first things that connected people globally was known as bulletin boards.  Places where like-minded souls, mostly geeks, gathered in virtual town squares to share and discuss the important things in their lives.  And these things were not important to most people but there is always someone that values what we see as worthwhile.  These bulletin board subscribers did not see each other or really know each other but the desire for a connection, a witness to a small part of their lives was great and no one could have predicted where it would eventually go.

Today we have blogs, forums, Facebook, Twitter and many more.  These types of sites have allowed all of us to let every one of our “friends” know exactly what we are doing at any given time.  And we really think that they all care what time we got up and what we had for breakfast or the even more mundane daily tasks associated with living.  I won’t even go into the distorted theme of friendship.  What spurs all of this if it isn’t a spiritual hunger?  A ravenous need for a witness?  We want someone, maybe everyone, to notice us.  We want validation through their observation of our lives that we do matter.  Their attention tells us that our lives count.

I want someone to read this and to comment.  This makes this whole point I am trying to make, true in my own life.  But there is also a truth that surpasses this need.  I already have a witness.  In fact, I have a couple of them.  As the first few verses of Psalm 139 show, God is watching everything I do.  He reads my mind and knows my motivations.  He knows all of those intimate little moments in my life and there is no way I can hide them from him even if I wanted to.  Which occasionally I do, I am embarrassed to say.  Jesus and the sacrifice he made prove that I truly do matter.

The second witness is my wife.  She is the one, the only one, who voluntarily agreed to witness my life.  She agreed to care about what I care about, to share life with me and all the ups and downs that it brings.  She knows things about me that no one else but God knows and she can be trusted to keep what needs to be secret just that.  She knows the good, the bad and the ugly things about me.  She shares in the exciting and the mundane.  She let me know on the day she said “I do” that my life would not go unnoticed and that I matter.  And I will do and be the same for her.

I want friends.  I want to be noticed and recognized as someone of worth.  I am sure you do also.  But ultimately, in those times that everyone else seems to be missing in my life, I can count on this-my wife and my God are my witness.

Love you all

Tags: Believe, Blogs, God, Love, spiritual hunger, Trust, Value, witness